Struggling to get replies to your cold emails?
Try highlighting prospects' pain points to remind them of their challenges and make them realize how much they need your solution!
Here's a cold email targeting small to mid-size real estate investors 👇
Let’s see how Charles, the CEO of devlo sales development agency, would rewrite it so you can replicate his tips for more replies!
Here's what stops prospects from replying to this cold email even though it is short:
#1 No personalization
From the first sentence, this cold email feels generic as there’s no personalization. This makes your prospects think you didn’t take the time to research them and they are just one of the bulk email recipients.
#2 Generic intro line
Because of the lack of research and personalization, the intro line doesn’t catch prospects’ attention. It doesn’t give any value to the reader or a reason to read the rest of this email.
#3 Meeting-based CTA
Asking for a meeting instead of confirming the interest in the first email can come off as pushy. Instead, act as a friend and ask your prospects more questions about them.
#4 No mention of pain points
Your email should be a reminder of the prospects’ challenges and make them realize how much they need a solution you're offering.
#5 Too much “I”
Your email shouldn’t be about you, but about your prospects and the way you can help them solve their problems. Instead of “I,” try using “You” as much as possible.
#6 Small text line spacing
To make your email easier to scan and read, you should add appropriate spacing between your text lines.
Here’s how Charles would rewrite this cold email for higher reply chances:
What brings this email replies?
#1 Liquid syntax
Using logical operators will help you hyper-personalize your intro line and make your emails feel authentic. The more your prospects feel like your email is written just for them, the more likely they’ll reply.
#2 Personalized icebreaker
Fully personalized first sentences of your email will intrigue your reader to read the rest of it, even from the email preview.
#3 Listed pain points
Highlight prospects’ pain points that you can help them solve. This will position you as someone who understands their struggles and offers a solution that is highly relevant.
#4 Social proof
If you want to build trust and credibility, name-drop clients that your prospects know about. Show them how others achieved their desired outcomes and tease them into finding out more.
#5 Question as CTA
Ask clearly about your prospects’ interest so they can easily respond with a "yes or no" answer. This removes friction and pushes them to take action.
{% assign ampm = "now" | date: "%P" %}{% if ampm contains "am" %}Good morning{% else %}Good afternoon{% endif %} {{firstName}},
Saw your last LinkedIn post about your last real estate project in Lyon, where you invested in these luxurious apartments. They look fantastic.
The reason I contact you is that dozens of real estate investors were struggling to find worthwhile projects before working with us. They didn’t have enough options to choose from, and their previous partners weren’t reliable enough.
These investors, including [CurrentClientName], work with us now to constantly fuel their portfolio with new properties. It’d be great to give you a bit more context.
Does it resonate with you, or am I off-topic?
[Name]
Here are Charles' most important cold email tips that you can start applying today:
You can watch Charles' full cold email teardown here!
PS: Want more tips? Request outbound experts to review your cold emails here.